R Train to Queens

Life goes on...

2006-01-27T16:04:00.000-05:00

New philosophy for today: F it.

Tired of all the crap in the world. Tired of murder and mayhem and people arguing about the superiority of OSX versus XP. Tired of dry bread and rude pedestrians and crashing browsers. Tired.

So, for today, and today only: F it. I'm not going to let it get to me: F it. The reality of my life is decent enough, and my imagined life is unparalleled, so: F it.

Today, I won't make a difference in the world. I won't make shake things up. I won't care.

Ah, F it. I do care and I do want to make a difference and that lady on the sidewalk pissed me off and so did Bush. And I don't like dry bread or old Macs.

F it.

A year of blambles

2006-01-25T17:37:00.000-05:00

So fearless reader(s?), it has come on that all irrelevant one year anniversary of my first blog. I'm not going to review the year or anything like that.

Instead, let's talk about toasters. I walked past this bank today that had a window full of toasters. I assume they give them out with a bank account. At least, that's what they used to do. I remember - or, at least, remember hearing about - banks giving out appliances to new customers. Which leads to the question: Why toasters? Of all the things to give out, why appliances?

I can understand why this new bank would give out toasters (and they're nice Cuisinart toasters too), it's a nostalgia gimmick thing. But why did they begin giving out toasters?

So, as I look back on a year of pointless blambles, a year that began with an attempt to develop a fictional character and ended with a question about toasters, I can only realize that this blog has no redeeming social value. But maybe it made someone smile, a little.

And that's good enough.

Fictional Begginnings: noir

2006-01-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

I had 14 pounds of cat on my feet and 98 pounds of woman draped across my chest when the phone rang. Phone calls at three in the morning are usually one of two things: drunken idiots or bad news. Sometimes both.

I was hoping for idiots but betting on trouble as I fumbled for the phone...

Oh yeah...

2006-01-04T13:25:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

Quick Question

2006-01-04T13:23:00.000-05:00

Is belief in the idea of a thing the same as believing in the thing itself?

Demarcation

2005-12-23T11:51:00.000-05:00

The strike is over - for now - and there was much rejoicing. My feet are sore, my legs are numb and I need new sneakers, but I survived. In fact, we all survived. New York is nothing if not resilient.

Walking across the Brooklyn bridge and down queens boulevard and through midtown and... well, walking gave me time to think on things, and I started thinking about life in this city.

Life in New York is something that really has to be experienced. No matter how many stories you hear or movies you see, you can't truly understand it until you live it. Part of that is sheer volume. Can you really picture in your mind 7 million people? What about 9 million? You have to live it to learn it. But that's another discussion.

What I want to talk about is being a New Yorker. There are several arbitrary ideas about what is required to be a New Yorker. Some say you have to live here for 5 years, some say 6, others 8. A few claim you have to be born and raised here, but I'm not buying that. In fact what it comes down to is badges.

You see, every New Yorker wears this invisible sash declaring "I'm a New Yorker" (and, in small invisible print "Who the F@#* are you?"). And attached to that sash are the badges that they wear proudly declaring their New Yorkerdom.

Some of the badges are small and easily acquired:I put up with long lines for everything; I ride underground an hour each way to work and call it a good commute; I have an EZ-Pass; I have a year-long Metrocard; I know how to get to Times Square/empire State Building/the Statue of Liberty and how to avoid them ass well; I know where to get cheap Broadway tickets without a line; etc. These are the badges for the little horrors and privileges that are part of city life. They add up, but are so easily come by they have little value.

Then there are the medium size badges, the things that happen, but not too often: I was here during the blizzard of 20XX; I was here when the 59th Street bridge was shut down; I was here during the republican convention; a man peed on me once.

I have my fair share of small and medium badges, but they're no worth much. They have a lot of value out in the red states and other hinterland area, but everyone has them around here.

These smaller badges are part of the New York sash, but it's the big ones that are required to truly be a New Yorker.

I just missed out on the largest badge ever awarded. I moved here the year after 9/11, and people who lived through the falling of the towers are rightly proud of that. That one badge made you an instant New Yorker (for those who care, I was 90 miles away in Connecticut).

I have however lived through two major New York events - both coincidentally involving subway woes. The first was the blackout of 2003. While many experienced the blackout, the city was hardest hit as millions had to find a way home.

The second badge was, of course this week's Transit Strike. In my walks I was attempting to find positives in the strike and I finally did. I don't care what any other New Yorkers want to say about the 6-year rule, I've been a part of a distinctly New York moment. I've crossed the line, received the badge, ordered the t-shirt: Finally, I'm a New Yorker. And anyone who want to argue can go f@#* themselves.

Game on!

2005-12-22T14:50:00.000-05:00

Strike commutting is a pain, but we New yorkers have risen to the occasion and joined together against the inconvenience.

Fortunately, the union has agreed to return to work (though it is slightly funny to hear them complaining that they're having trouble getting to work!).

This being New York, the strike should be forgotten by Saturday.

Happy Holidays.

A bit of holiday spirit

2005-12-20T12:45:00.000-05:00

In an otherwise inconvenient day, a little cheer did fall.

While riding the PATH train - see post about transit strike below - I happened to glance out the window and catch sight of a colorfully lit Christmas tree tucked into an aclove along the tunnel underneath the Hudson River.

I don't know if it was put there officially, or by workers having fun, or maybe by a tunnel resident. Whoever placed that bit of cheer in the dank tunnels, I thank you. My day went a little better after that.

The R Train will not be running today

2005-12-20T12:15:00.000-05:00

They're out. They struck, they walked, I walked.

For the first time in 25 years the public transportation system of the city of New York has been shuttered by its workers. It's a tale of misinformation, greed, and plain stupidity on the part of both the MTA(metropolitan Transit Authority) and TWU(Transit Workers' Union). They're all asses.

Let me put this in perspective for those readers out in the hinterlands(meaning, beyond the NYC metro area). Have you ever had your car battery die and had to scramble for a way to get to work? Now, imagine if the car batteries died on the entire population of Massachusetts and the neighboring state of New Hampshire or Rhode Island(choose one). That's kind of what this is like. Over 7 million riders are left looking for a new way to get to work. Granted, we've known about this possinility for some time, but it's still a shock to realize that the workers are that stupid and selfish.

But there is hope. After all, New York is great at banding together in a crisis. Last time the subways went out - the blackout of 2003 - we still all got home and to work by helping each other. And the operators of taxi's, vans and livery cabs have been helping out this time. Granted, they're getting paid, but they're still helping out.

My odyssey began with the prospect of a 2 1/2 mile walk to the nearest commuter rail (only the MTA subways and buses are stopped due to the strike, commuter rail from Long Island, upstate and Connecticut are still running. Fortunately, I walked by a van that needed more passengers to meet the restrictions set by Mayor Bloomberg. I was able to get into midtown Manhattan for $5. Not bad considering a)the train would have cost $4, and b)I later learned that people were lined up for blocks to get onto the trains.

From Midtown(the middle of the island) I was able to get a PATH train downtown(the bottom tip of the island) and walk to work. PATH trains are yet another subway system which runs in New York, serving sections of midtown, downtown and Jersey. The whole thing took 2.5 hours for what is normally a 45 minute ride.

So, this strike may cause severe economic damage to the city. And is a few steps beyond an inconvenience. But, we New Yorkers will survive it. We get through everything else, what's a little transit strike?

THE News

2005-12-15T18:28:00.000-05:00

I spoke ot a friend in Ohio this afternoon. At one point I made a casual mention along the lines of "if IT happens." And then I had to explain what "It" was.

The problem wasn't a misplaced pronoun, or anything else grammar-related. It was all a matter of perspective.

As a New Yorker today, December 15th, 2005, there's only one thing that people are talking about. That piece of news is said in all caps, bold, italic. I am speaking, of course, of the impending MTA strike. As the deadline nears, those of us who are going to get royally screwed if there's a strike are trying to figure out how the hell we're going to get to work tomorrow.

It's hard to remember that there are people out there who don't know or care what's looming on the horizon. It's an interesting phenomenon, this belief that everyone knows what's going on in New York City. It reminds me of one of my favorite pieces of dialogue:

"Why are your problems more important than everyone else's?"
"Because they're mine."

Or, I could quote some more appropriate dialogue from Gypsy (Natalie Wood is still one of the most beautiful women in film):

"New York is the center of everything."
"New York is the center of New York."

Waiting on the dock of the bay

2005-12-13T16:14:00.000-05:00

Will my ship ever come in?

Should I wait for it, or should I swim out to meet it? If I swim out, what if I run out of energy and drown? What if my ship runs over me in the middle of the ocean?

Why a ship? Who even travels by sea anymore? Couldn't it be an airplane or a large automobile or something? What I really want is a Porsche. I'm waiting for my Porsche to come in. Of course, European cars arrive by ship, so I guess I'm waiting for my ship to come in.

When will it come in? Don't they have to schedule these things? There's only so much dock space. Will it be in long? Do I have time to run to the bathroom? How about grabbing a bite to eat? A quick nap? Will my ship wait for me if I'm not there waiting?

Where will it arrive? What if it was blown off course and is on some Lost-esque island? Does it have GPS? Do I have GPS? Will it hone in on the GPS signal I have?

What will it look like? Is it a big ship? Do I get to keep the ship when it comes in, or will it just unload it's cargo and leave? I think I'd like a ship, I could travel all over by water. That's cool.

How do I contact my ship if I don't want it anymore? Can I cancel my order? Will I get my investment back? Do I even want my ship to come in?

Has your ship come in? Are you going to wait long?

Third Strike

2005-12-13T14:28:00.000-05:00

The MTA strike negotiations are really annoying. Actually, when I think about it, it pisses me off. The union employees have it so good, and they're complaining.

Well, since I'm not union, I actually have to work today so I'll do something you will probably never see again, I'll direct you to an article in the New York Times. It pretty much sums up why I'm so annoyed.

Crapkins

2005-12-09T16:23:00.000-05:00

Why do deli's, pizzerias, Chinese restaurants, etc. insist on using those cheap napkins? You know the ones I'm talking about, they're 2 inches by three inches wide, microns thick and made out of some sort of space-age material designed to absorb exactly one drop of any liquid before being rendered completely useless. And if that liquid is grease, I swear the napkins actually cause the grease to grow. I call these useless pieces of junk crapkins.

I'm sure they're cheap as hell, which would be why places buy them, but they're so useless for any sort of napkin activity that you end up getting 40 or 50 with each order. Wouldn't it be cheaper, in the long run, to give each customer one good quality napkin than 50 crapkins?

Even Mickey D's - at least around here - have resorted to what amounts to a slightly oversized crapkin. About the only takeout place - national or local to NYC - that's got it right is Subway. They're napkins are big, thick and absorbent. Too bad about the food.

Three Strikes

2005-12-08T08:12:00.000-05:00

Strike One: A strike by graduate teaching assistants at NYU is winding down. The TAs were protesting the fact that they are no longer recognized as part of the UAW by the university.

UAW?!?! UAW originally stood for United Automobile Workers, though the official name is now United Automobile, Aerospace and Agricultural Implement Workers of America. Still, I don't see many TA's building cars, planes or harvesting produce. Why were they ever part of UAW?

Strike Two: Home Health Care workers in New York City went on strike this morning. Of anyone, they seem to have the most cause. $5.50 an hour caring for our grandparents? The guy that cooks my fries gets more than that, and I don't really care so much about fries.

On the other hand, who is the most affected by the strike? Not the company, the patients stuck at home, sick, in the freezing cold. Even the picket line turnout was low because of the cold weather. You'd thinking - recognizing that it's December in NYC - the union might have chosen a more comfortable time to strike.

Strike Three: MTA. This one hasn't happened yet, and hopefully won't. Transit workers for one of the largest and busiest cities in the world are threatening - again - to strike. This seems to happen every other year. It is, in fact, illegal for transit workers to strike in New York.

Though, this would be the time to do it - tourists out the rear, cold weather, etc. Millions of people ride the subways and buses every day. A strike would mean people walking down streets, bicycles in the elevator, crowds leaping on taxis, cats and dogs living together in harmony, mass chaos. Twinkie the size of Manhattan type stuff.

Of course, it's unlikely to happen. Every time the end of a contract comes near, the media feeds the hysteria and everyone's trying to figure out how to get to work. But nothing happens - or hasn't recently anyway.

I have no sympathy for the transit workers. Of course, I depend on them to get to work, so I'd be kinda pissed if they struck. One of the sticking points? The MTA wants employees that stand around to do some tidying while they're standing around. Evidently, the union isn't too happy about it. Grow up, welcome to the real world where a job description is more of a suggestion and raises guaranteed.

You're out: This was going to be the point in this post where I went off on Unions. I don't like them. They served a purpose, but now they just make unreasonable demands that inconvenience alot of people. They usually don't even offer you a choice on whether or not you want to join. I just can't condone that. Okay, guess I did just go off a little, but I'll stop while I'm ahead.

That's the report from New York.

Things I should probably care about, but don't

2005-12-07T19:18:00.000-05:00

Feeling almost apathetic right now. Here's somethings I'm just not concerned about at the moment:

* Neither my work, nor my home, are earthquake safe.

* Blogger's spell check still doesn't recognize "blog."

* There's a winter storm watch for Thursday.

* A co-worker and one of my bosses can clearly see my computer screen.

* I have a spam filter that I don't use.

* My closet is a mess.

* There's enough food to feed the world, but it's poorly distributed.

* Chinese aggression.

* Dressing-up for work.

* The future.

* A finished first draft of my book is waiting to be typed and sent out.

* I have over 300 read, but un-sorted messages in my home e-mail.

* I can't remember the last time I defragged my hard drive.

* My calendar is almost run out.

* My pen is almost dry.

* My hair is a mess.

* The world seems on the brink of self-destruction.

Some of these things I do care about, sometimes. But right now, I just don't care. I think it's time to go home.

Tradition

2005-12-07T17:34:00.000-05:00

I was catching up on blog reading and came across a posting seemingly in response to my November 22 post, "Tradition."

This blogger seemed to think that tradition should be abolished. He cited examples of tradition gone wrong, such as slavery and Holocaust.

My first response: How the hell is holocaust a tradition?

Then I got a little annoyed. Why do people only read the parts they want? I carefully worded my post to point out that some traditions are comforting.

But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, tradition is a coin. Good and bad. Ohio State-Michigan? Good(especially when we win). Wholesale killing? Bad.

I have always abhorred when people do things because that's the way they've always been done. That's where my problem with most of the world's religions lies (though wholesale killing by a few of the monotheistic ones and hypocrisy also bother me). If you're going to do something stupid/mean/evil/just-plain-wrong, at least do it for reasons you can justify to yourself.

I'm a firm believer in thinking for yourself, going your own way, marching to the beat of your own drummer, and all the other cliches that indicate actual thought. But sometimes, usually on a Saturday in November, I just want an excuse to yell at the TV.

My hero

2005-12-07T16:57:00.000-05:00

I have a new hero. Well, I've held this man in high esteem for some time, but the admiration has escalated over the past few years.

Normally I'm not prone to hero worship.

First off, the word hero is over used. I'm sorry, but just because you put on a uniform doesn't mean your a hero. Second, I prefer my heroes with a cape or tights or psychic abilities. At the very least, they should be quick with a quip. Few real people can pull any of these off.

But lately I've been learning a lot about Leonardo da Vinci. Due in part to Dan Brown there seems to be a resurgence in the quintessential renaissance man's popularity. This has made it much easier to learn about the man from Vinci.

He was smart, but kind of lazy. He started untold numbers of projects - paintings, designs, inventions, etc. - but seldom finished any of them. He would work on them until they ceased to be a challenge and then move on to something else. This tended to piss off the people who had hired him.

He also came from "unsavory" beginnings: he was a bastard. In Italy of his time, this meant he had no formal education. So, he kind of shunned the inteligista and forged his own path. In general, he found the authorities lacking and figured things out on his own without all that book learnin'.

Lazy, no respect for authority, but damn smart. My hero.

A note to Spammers

2005-12-01T17:55:00.000-05:00

I do not want an authentic letter from Santa. He and I are not on speaking terms since the sweater fiasco of 1993.

I do not want to be a cop. I will never want to be a cop no matter what effect you claim it has on the ladies.

While I find your concern for my love life touching, I am married and have no interest in singles in my area - be they kinky, married, grandmas or schoolgirls. Nor do I have an interest in single women in Russia and Thailand. And, before you ask, I am not interested in men from those areas either.

If I had a desire to work in niche porn, I might be interested in increasing both my breast and penis size. At such time is this is necessary, I will contact you.

I never applied for a home loan with anyone, let alone your non-existent company form a town I haven't lived in for over 6 years.

I have no desire to purchase a fake Rolex over the internet. That's what Canal street is for.

If you want to give me cash/a PS3/an MP3 player please send it to my home address.

Finally, I have never e-mailed you. You do not have the right to RE: me. You are not welcome to call me by my first name, nor a misspelled version of my last name. In fact, you are not welcome in my inbox at all.

The independent music lover's dilemma

2005-12-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's a festival performance that can't be believed; or maybe an open mic you wander into; or a showcase performance that leaves you breathless. However it happens, you have discovered your new favorite band.

You know the band I'm talking about. They're incredible. They perform (not recite), if for no other reason than they don't even have a CD available. Their songs sing to you. There's just something about them that makes you wonder why the whole world doesn't know about them.

So, you sign up for their mailing list, buy the home produced demos they sell only at the shows, sign up as a friend on MySpace and go to every concert. You go to open mics, hole in the wall bars where they play two songs in a showcase, coffee shops and even house concerts. You talk to the band before and after the show, hang out posters when they come to town and e-mail them on their personal e-mail accounts. All the time wondering, why doesn't the world know about them?

One day you hear them on a local radio show at three in the morning. Or a mention in some bizarre music publication or on a blog. You mention them in your blog, just to get the word out. Why doesn't everyone listen to them?

And then it starts happening. First, the performance venues get a little bigger. Then, shows start to sell out. Pretty soon, they're playing on bigger bills, opening for better known acts. One day, they're on the marquis of a local music hall. But with this popularity comes other things. You actually have to buy tickets in advance, and sometimes they sell out before you can get there. They have more friends than ever on MySpace. The band no longer has time to say hello before the show, and - if you're lucky - only a quick word after. More people than ever know about them.

Herein lies the dilemma, the warring instincts. As a fan, and almost friend, you want them to make it big. Your instinct to celebrate the success they have worked so hard for, and deserve so much. But, as a longtime fan, you're a little sad about the loss of intimacy. Concerts aren't as much fun, suddenly you get there hours early and still end up at the back of the concert. You instinctively wish for those more personal performances. Don't you deserve some recognition of your unflagging support?

Okay, so I realize most will not see this as much of a dilemma: the first instinct is pure, the second selfish. But, what fan hasn't experienced this at one time or the other? It's almost as if it's a different band - and often it is, as egos and eccentricities are magnified to fill the larger stage. But you still cling to the old days and offer your support and fight for a place at every show. After all, you want these people that have done so much with their music to be rewarded, you just wish it didn't have to change the experience.

Internet killed the holiday star

2005-12-01T14:11:00.000-05:00

It seems like Christmas feels less like Christmas every year. At first, I thought it was just because of the whole getting old thing, but then I heard older people complaining how it just doesn't feel as Christmassy. (Is that a word?)

I'm sure I could go the Spider route and do all sorts of research and find philosophers and motivationalists to quote on the search for Christmas spirit. Instead, I prefer to blame the Internet.

The sad fact is, a large part of the American Christmas is the gift-giving. Gift-giving may be materialistic, evil, etc. But it is definitely a cheap thrill to see that look when someone gets the perfect gift and know that you are responsible for that look. I used to participate in the yearly trek to a local retail haven for Christmas shopping.

Now, thanks to the internet, I am able to avoid the crowds and buy everything online. It's easier, cheaper, and - according to all the recent news reports - everyone's doing it.

The only thing missing from the equation is that mixture of rage and good cheer that result from an afternoon in a crowded mall decked with gaudy decorations and cheery holiday tunes. And that little something may just be what makes it feel like Christmas. Sometimes I miss it.

Overheard NYC

2005-11-30T15:59:00.000-05:00

On Christmas:

"It's a f#@$in' phenomenal holiday. The trees, the lights."

Performance, yay. Recital, nay.

2005-11-29T18:10:00.000-05:00

Why do I go to concerts? Why do I shell out money that would otherwise be used for wine, travel and food (or, in dire circumstances, bills) to stand around in a room full of sweaty obnoxious people and listen to music I already own on CD?

The answer is: I don't. At least, not on purpose. I do go to concerts, but not to listen to the music I have on CD. I go for the performance. I go to hear a bluegrass cover of "Father Figure"(ala "Girlyman.") Or to experience the energy as a charismatic guitarist rockets into the audience to be surrounded by screaming fans as he blasts through a song(recent example: Butch Walker). Or even, to stand in stunned awe as a plucky Australian manages to silence a packed New York City concert hall for a completely acoustic second encore(Ben Lee, I am still in awe, I've never seen anybody get that many people -especially New Yorkers - to be that quiet).

In short, I go for a performance, I want riffs, and interaction with the audience and weird covers and drama and, basically, something different. My daily life already has too much of the mundane and ordinary, give me something I can only experience once. Don't recite your music, perform it.

And that's how you'll keep getting my money.

Red Wine and Rasberry Bellinis

2005-11-28T18:48:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard the expression, "the room looks like someone threw-up the color pink?"

Tradition

2005-11-22T17:00:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday Ohio State University (technically, The Ohio State University) beat Michigan in the annual meeting thought by many to be the greatest rivalry in sports.

I am not a huge sports fan, but even I watch the yearly contest between my beloved Buckeyes and the team up north. Why? Tradition.

Later that evening, my wife and I served up a full Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings for our friends. I typically draw short straw and work on Thanksgiving Day, so I enjoy the chance to get a holiday meal and spend time with people we care about. This, over the past three years, has also become a tradition.

There's a strange comfort in certain traditions. They're practices that bring you closer to others, make you feel a part of something.

It's almost the Holiday time for normal people - retail people have been doing the Holiday thing for several months now. A time full of traditions old and new. And a time to feel close to others. Goodwill to man and all that.

For some, the traditions are a way to celebrate history. For others, they merely provide a means to remain sane through this season. Of course, sometimes they're just an excuse to do something you secretly enjoy but find immensely embarassing (Why do you wear that Reindeer jacket every December 17? Answer given: Oh, it's this silly tradition my father started. Real Answer: I like swinging the antlers about. it's fun.)

Perhaps I should start a new tradition, posts that actually have a point.

Youth is wasted

2005-11-17T15:20:00.000-05:00

Recently at work, we were discussing the death of a 16-year-old. The kid died in a manner which is not all that unusual. Typically, we'll talk about the death - a hazard of the industry I'm involved in - and move on. For some reason, this death seemed to touch peole a little more.

Why? Why do people value the death of a child more highly than the death of an adult?

Why do we as a society value our children so much, even above ourselves? What makes a child's life inherently more valuable than an adults? The adult has affected so many more lives and will leave a much bigger hole in the community, but it's the child who is the catalyst for new laws. The adult is less of a drain on society. The adult is already contributing - as opposed to just having the potential to contribute.

For once, I don't have a theory. I don't even have an opinion. Should the children be valued? Or is this some anachronistic instinct from ancient times? I don't know, though I have a feeling a parent would have a quick answer, but I think they're biased.

Okay, I'm in some sort of serious mood today. I think I'll try not to post anymore boring or serious topics for now. More when I lighten up.

...until there is.

2005-11-17T13:52:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I stated there can't be only one. Well, that's only true to a certain extent.

I may get a little mushy in this post, so I advise you to skip over to Google news if you've just eaten lunch.

The concept of "The One" is silly. There are billions of people, and chances are you could be perfectly happy with several (though I do not reccomend trying to be happy with several simultaneously). However, when you find one your happy with, and who is also happy with you, keep her. S/he is the one.

don't expect it to happen instantly - this is not a movie, you have more than 90 minutes to get the girl. Don't assume you'll know for sure from the start. But if you find someone, make her the one. The one you will spend the rest of your life with. The one you will go on walks with and take to romantic dinners. The one you will wake up next to and fall asleep next to and generally see more of than you ever thought you could stand.

This is the person who will become a part of you to the point where plus one no longer applies. This is the one that you will be one with.

This is a dreadful post, sorry. I'm just saying that there isn't a one until you make your own. And when that happens, you don't care about anyone else.

There can't be only one...

2005-11-17T13:19:00.000-05:00

"Love, true love. Love is what brings us together today."

If I believe what the movies and TV and books tell me, there was supposed to be that one magical person out there and when we met there should have been birds or cheesy music or stars or something. Instant recognition that the universe may know what it's doing after all. If I believe womans's magazines, Oprah and my wive's bitter divorcé friend, men are scum and love is a myth. If I beleive those articles that certain magazines carry solely to give us something to say when said magazines are discovered beneath the mattress, I'll deliver a pizza one day and have really hot sex with a bitter divorcé who no longer beleives in love.

These are conflicting messages. So let's ignore them.

Instead, how about the concept of "The One"? There's something a little excusist about the concept.

Can't find a mate? "I'm still looking for the one."

Bad marriage? "He/she just wasn't The One."

Going through men/women about as often as a carton of milk? "I'm just having fun until I meet The One."

It's all an excuse. You can put life on hold, lay the blame for all your failings and probably explain bad credit by claiming that you have yet to find that elusive One.

There's a reason why "The One" is so prevalent in the realm of fantasy (The One Ring, The Chosen One, The One Who Live, Highlander), the concept is purely fantasy. How is it even conceivable that out of billions of people, only one will work?

Quit putting off life, liberty and the pursuit of sex in a futile search for a mystical creature that you probably wouldn't recognize anyway. Go out and make mistakes with the "wrong ones." Fall in love, fall off of it and look for another love to fall with. Live life, love life, etc.

Don't think about it as there being only one. think about it is as there being at least one.

If I Had $300 Million dollars...

2005-11-15T19:03:00.000-05:00

Those living in the Mega Millions states may be aware that there's a lot of money to be won tonight. somewhere around $311 million dollars.

I have a very detailed plan which covers what the money will be spent on when I win. I'm not sure if this kind of daydreaming is healthy or not, but it sure is fun.

And that leads me to today's question. Everyone has at least a vague idea what they would do if they won the big jackpot. What I want to know is, what would you do if you won first prize (about $200,000)? Is that life changing,or just life-easing?

Under New Management

2005-11-15T18:03:00.000-05:00

Like the corporate world, when its time to reinvent, I merely change the name on the door. In this case, I've dropped the alias and gone for me. So, originally this blog was started by a character I was writing a book about. He needed to be more human, so I started a blog to see how he would react to the world. Unfortuantely, I was reacting and the character became more and more like me.

So, I quit blogging and finished the book. Someday, I'll finish typing it into the computer and try to get it published.

For now, however, I've put my name on this and decided to keep it as my blog: a new name, a new look, same old blambles.

The blogs prior to this are a mixture of my thoughts and what I thought Phil would think. Now, it's all me.

What will I blog about now? Theories, observations, questions I wish to send out to the universe.

I can't promise it will be good. I can't promise it will be succinct. I can't promise much of anything at all. I can tell you that I'm pretty darn twisted some times, bizzarre other times, and the only time I'm not thinking about something is when I'm dreaming about another thing.

So, this is mine now. Enjoy.

Things that aren't

2005-05-25T16:34:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm in a list mood today. I was trying to amuse myself (something that I have found increasingly easy on days when I have nothing better to do) and start making things up, things that don't exist.

I've listed them below, please feel free to contribute.

Without further ado, things that aren't:

* Spoken statements where "it goes without saying"

* A cat & toast anti-gravity machine

* all ages concerts without annoying teenagers (Note: their is a non-annoying variety of teen as well, but the annoying variety makes their presence more obvious)

* Altruism

* Intelligent Bush-isms

* Iraqi WMDs

* Entertaining Reality Tv on the broadcast networks

* A Joss Whedon show not worth fanatical devotion

* An recent, smart decision by a Fox programming exec (outside renewing Arrested Development)

* An Ivy League national champion in any sport with a major league

* Military intelligence

* Non-cheesy George Lucas dialogue

* A reason why Bush should be in the white House

* wide-spread use of the word blamble

* A video game where the goal is to lose

* A sure thing

* A Japanese luxury car

* Actual lyrics to "Louie, Louie"

* A valid reason to stop Gay marriage

* A truly open-mind (well, unless you have a good bone saw...)

* Serial killers with a heart

* Easy Money

* Money that grows trees

* Impartial news from sources owned by an Australian magnate

* Edible cereal that never gets soggy

* Low-carb french fries

* good-tasting Beer

* Airline seats at the advertised rate

* Thrash metal sonnets

* A reason for this post

Spring cleaning, again

2005-05-18T17:20:00.000-04:00

More thoughts that I am having trouble making a full blamble out of:

1) the high value of Good is entirely dependent on the existense of bad/evil. Without evil, there could be no good. So, doesn't that mean that some part of evil is inherently good?

2) Intelligence and knowledge really are separate. It doesn't matter how much you know, you can still be a complete idiot. Though, some of the most intelligent people in the world, really don't know much about most things. ("An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less")

3) No action is selfless. Discuss.

4) There are so many religions with often contradicting rules to get into Heaven(or whatever that religion calls the Utopian location in the afterlife). If you choose one and stick to all it's rules, does that guarantee you a spot? What if you live your life by the strictest rules of a religion, say Catholicism, but follow a different religion, like Buddhism? Do you got to the Catholic heaven?

5)When I was in high school, I spent a lot of lunches playing SimCity and SimEarth. Whenever lunch was about to end, I would go on a rampage unleashing all sorts of disasters and destroying random civilizations/structures. I always used to wonder if maybe I was really controlling some alternate universe. So, if armageddon ever comes, we'll know lunch is almost over.

6) In my next life, I want to stay in bed.

7) Cats, and I may have said this before, are better than cable. A little more expensive, but so much more fun. Of course, they can be a bit of a pain, but I love them anyway.

8) If we ever figure the universe out, it will start all over again more confusing. Does that mean the universe made sense way back when and someone keeps figuring it out?

9) How come when Windows releases a patch, there's all these people proclaiming that it's a messed up OS and that they should never have released it, but Mac releases a patch - only weeks after releaseing the software (Tiger 10.4.1) - and it's a considerate "update" by the do no wrong Apple?

9B) How come no one has complained about the way Apple is monopolizng Itunes? When IE had to be on computers, it was evil. But saying you can only dowload to a particular piece of portable hardware is protecting your interests. Hypocricy! (Not that windows isn't at least a little evil)

10) They've upped the ante and the next generation of video games should be photo-realistic. for the most part, they'll still suck, but it will suck like a movie now.

11) "If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane." Discuss.

12) What is the American dream? No, really. There are so many American dreams (writing the great-American novel-which has already been done-, being your own boss - seem slike alot of work to me-, finding your soulmate- no experience there-, etc., etc.). Which one is the real one?

12b) I think it is true that you can do anything you want in America. Look at the current Presidential administration. Proof that anyone can get anywhere in this country, regardless of merit or qualificaiton (or whether they actually won the election).

13) I've decided to not strive for profoundness in my writing. That way, if I actually say something profound, you'll be caught unawares.

A month of nothing

2005-05-17T13:21:00.000-04:00

It has been nearly a month since I last posted. If anyone actually read this, some might wonder where I've been, why I haven't posted.

Here's the problem: I have started this blog to find out who I am. Not what I've been doing, but what I've been thinking. I place a much higher value on thoughts that actions, simply because the actions are precipitated by thoughts, but thoughts do not always result when one takes action. I realize that doesn't makes much sense, but I'm not feeling sensical.

If you read back through this, you won't see much about my daily life. Partially, this is because I don't have one. Mostly, it's because I don't care what I do each day. Things happen, just like in everyone else's life. It's the potentially profound thoughts I like to focus on and work out.

really that's what this is for, a chance to try out my ideas. Rather than just writing them down and reworking them, I've put them here so anyone can comment on them and, perhaps, help me refine them further.

All that being said, I haven't had time to wonder who I am lately, too busy.

And in all likeliehood, that's not going to change much in the immediate future.

So, I apologize. I hope if you stumble across this you'll stop back again to see what I've said and comment on it (ridicule, controversy, praise, I don't care what you say.)

And until I write again, I hope you're well. I hope I'm well. And I really, really hope there not out of salads down at the deli.

Irresponsible blogger

2005-04-20T13:12:00.000-04:00

So, I realize it's been 2 weeks since the last post. I'm sure you all are checking back daily just waiting with baited breath (which I always wondered about. why would your breath be baited? does it smell like earthworms or dead fish or something? Yuck.) But, well, have you been outside recently? trees are blooming in New York City. Parks are waiting to be explored. And the fashions get pretty interesting this time of year as well.

so, please forgive me. And get off your butt and go enjoy the outdoors.

Spring cleaning

2005-04-06T17:40:00.000-04:00

Okay, some incomplete thoughts of no particular merit cluttering my system:

1. The Pope is dead. I recognize this as a historical moment, though I have no particular feelings about the Pope. However, I am looking forward to comparing the selection process for the new Pope to that written about in Dan Brown's Angels and Demons.

2. Beautiful weather just makes everything seem all right for a little while.

3. A burnign question: how many people can the current administration piss off before we get attacked? I think we might actually have WMDs - somewhere in Nebraska or a similarly unopulated state - unlike other countries I could mention.

4. Speaking of Iraq, the new president is a Kurd. I've spent some amount of time in the Midwest and when I hear Kurd I can't help but think of fired cheese curds. Not the same thing, I realise, but I have this vision of breaded cheese sitting in a chair in some palace.

5. Cats are better than cable. I'm not entirely sure thay are cheaper, but they're just as entertaining and much more cuddly.

6. blamble just isn't taking off yet. though I did notice a blog called "blamble sog"

7. I remember as a kid passing certain scenes that caught my interest, but I didn't get to take in fully. I used to believe that I would never be at peace because I would never no how those things would turn out - or what the rest of the sign said, or what kind of car it was, etc. I used to fear collecting these unfinished observations and running out of room in my mind. You know what? It didn't really matter. Still, to this day, I have this perpetual sense of something I missed. Guess that I wasn't such a silly kid after all.

8. I'm not sure if it's by definition, but profound thoughts seem impossible to manufacture.

9. Why must people stop in the middle of sideWALKS? I'm all for smelling the roses, but have some consideration.

10. Celebrity is like gold. If everyone had it, it would be worthless.

11. How come some things that are just wrong - say, jokes about death or excessivey violent video games - are so amusing?

12. Why is death so bad? If we don't know what happens, how can we be sure it's not all moist chocolate cake and line-free roller coasters?

13. Where does the phrase "cat got your tongue" come from? I can understand not being able to speak if the cat has got your tongue. however, why would you allow the cat close enough to the inside of your mouth to grab your tongue? Really, anyone who's that close to their cat - keeping in mind that cats lick their own rears - deserves what they get. But the real question is, who was that came up with the concept of putting silence and cat-tongue-getting together?

Okay, that's better. Now I might be able to think again.

It is finally Spring!

2005-04-06T16:40:00.000-04:00

That's all I have to say about that.

Say what?

2005-03-23T14:08:00.000-05:00

A few posts back I tried to create a new word. While Blamble hasn't taken off yet, I still have hope.

My hope springs (not eternal, but for a little while longer) from everyday conversation. I have developed the habit of stopping every once in a while to examine the words I use everyday. I like to compare them with my mental database of words my parents wouldn't have recognized when I was born(such as, possibly, database) or whose meanings have changed so dramatically as to make their use totally foreign to those people of the past.

Examples:

blog, e-mail, internet, world wide web, dot com, Al Qaeda, hard drive, (basically any computer term); console gaming, air bags, Ground Zero, September 11th, PDA, CD, DVD, video tape...

The list is long. You can throw in just about any brand name and most technology and a lot of acronyms.

I'm going to keep today's post short, don't want to blamble too much, but I challenge you reader(s) to examine your language. Would your parents have understood you when they were your age? I'm not refering to slang (no -izzles in the list), or limiting it to technology words (though there's a whole post in the changes in technology), but words in general.

Just something to think about. And a basis of hope for the new words (*cough*blamble*cough*) to come.

English (like Frodo) lives.

Why we are losing or souls, or: Video Killed a lot more than the radio star

2005-03-15T16:00:00.000-05:00

So, it has been noticed by many that, generally speaking, people are getting wronger(more wrong?). By this I mean that people are ruder, less considerate and more self-centered. Children don't behave like they used to, service has gone downhill, etc.

Now, part of this is just getting older. The older you get, the more annoying young'uns seem to be. But things are so much worse now, that even people m own age are annoying and older people too. What is so hard to understand about using a freaking trash can? Or saying excuse me when you bump into someone? Jeesh.

So, I have observed and contemplated and realised what the problem is. but first, a delve into history.

As a young and naieve teen I once wrote a tongue-in-cheek column on the proliferation of video cameras. I observed that the people and moments recorded by camcorder are always so happy and cheerful that if we just put camcorders everywhere we would have world peace (brought to you by Sony).

Oh, youth. If only I had realized the armageddon my idea would unleash.

See, I have observed that this bad behavior can most directly be linke to the fact that people just don't have souls anymore. Well, they have souls, there just alot smaller than they used to be. some have suggested the theory that the world was created with one soul, Adam (I assume this theory refers only to human souls, by the way, as animals and plants and such had their own soul pool). Adam's soul was quickly split to make Eve and over the years each time a new person is formed it takes half the soul of his/her creator. This would, understandably, result in a thinning of souls. (1/2 of 1/2 of 1/2 of 1/2, etc. is a small number.) I think this theory is hogwash. Infinite universe, infinite soul pools.

I have another theory. See, some peoples believe that cameras steal a little bit of your soul. What if this were true? What if cameras steal the soul?

"But," you might point out, "cameras have been around for a good while and you, the poster, said that this seems worse of late, why would it suddenly get worse?"

In a word, volume.

think of it this way, An X-Ray now and then doesn't do too much harm. But, have you ever noticed how X-Ray technicians go and stand behind lead walls to take the shot? Not only is this slightly discomfiting, but it serves a purpose: X-Ray techs stay alive. if they were exposed to every X-ray they took, well,it wouldn't be good.

It's the same with cameras. A few shots aren't going to hurt you. Someone takes your picture, "'tis merely a flesh wound." But, what about the security cameras? Or the camcorder displays at an electronics stores? Or the TV news shots of a crowd? That all starts to add up, especially the security cameras. I mean, is it any wonder that TV journalists are soulless hacks? (Perhaps the soul is related to talent which would explain why TV personalities so often suck).

So, if my little essay on cameras for peace has caused the world any harm, I apologize. That was not my intention. I just thought I should apologize while I had some soul left.

Age or Geography?

2005-03-05T18:38:00.000-05:00

I seldom come to a post with a topic in mind. On rare occasions, however, I will observe something I want to talk about and begin writing in my head, ready to put it down on the computer. (Note: What's written in my head never survives intact to be posted).

Today was one of those rare days when I had something that I wanted to post. Because I can, I'm going to share some of what I started writing in my head, and then what I realized and kind of give you an inside look at blambling in action (still trying to push that stupid word, I can just imagine trying to make that a word for the rest of my life - to the point where it's carved on my tombstone. Hey, it worked for Mr. Sandwich!)

the original:

Today I feel like talking about socializing. More specifically, hanging out with friends. Now some of you may have the ability to call a friend up and meet up with them on the spur of the moment. Those of you in New York laugh at this concept(note: as there are only two, possibly three, acknowledged readers of these posts, and one lives in NYC, the other doesn't, it's safe to assume that half of you know what I'm talking about).

That's the thing about New York, you don't just go over to people's houses. First, meeting people is a pain here, but that's a post of it's own. Once you have people who actually have given you a phone number and e-mail address, making plans with them is a drawn out back and forth affair. Especially over e-mail. In the whole time I've lived in the city, only once have I called up a friend and said "hey, want to hang out tonight?" And that was today. And that's why I'm thinking about this.

the ironic(possibly, maybe just weird - note to self: study definition of irony) thing is that many people move to New York city for the whole Friends/Seinfeld atmosphere of people just dropping by. Life is not a sitcom people! for one thing, New York apartments, especially in Manhattan, aren't nearly as big as they are on tv.

But what I'm trying to observe is that in New York, people don't drop by. things are planned to death. It's to the point where you almost look forward to hanging out with friends with the same level of anticipation as a vacation to Europe.

End original thoughts(my head can hold a lot of writing, sorrY)

As I was trying to type this out, the fact that I might be completely wrong occurred to me. what if this "New York" phenomenon wasn't a New York thing, but an age thing? What if getting old just means you have to squelch all semblance of spontaneity?

So, my question to you, both of you and anyone else who swings by, my question is: Is this a New york thing or a getting older thing? Do people just stop by anymore, or is everything planned out the wazoo? (Also, what exactly was a wazoo before it came to have it's current meaning?)

The question being asked, I just realized I am late for the impromptu gathering I have tonight. Maybe that's why people plan so far in advance?

Nothing meaningful...

2005-02-25T15:09:00.000-05:00

I've already mentioned my theory on blambles (a word I'm still hoping to see take off), but those depend on having an actual topic to start with.

So, now I am in a situation that doesn't have a word - I have no idea where to start. I just feel like I should say something.

Despite an utter lack of topic, and realizations, um, realized in former posts, I still feel I need to come up with something profound.

The thing is, there's no shortage of topics to discuss. In fact, there's so much information out there, that I often feel inclined to curl up in a ball and revert to a child-like state.

Then again, attempts to revert to my childhood have often reslted in disappointment. Scooby-Doo just doesn't have the same oomph that it did when I was six. And Knight Rider is laughable.

That's part of why I'm afraid to watch reruns of another childhood favorite, the Dukes of Hazzard. CMT just announced a "job opening" where you will be paid $100K to watch Dukes reruns and write a daily blog for a year. Plus, you get to travel to events.

Dukes VP

Now, I don't mind blogging(duh), I don't mind watching TV, and I don't mind travel. But am I willing to risk my untarnished memories of good old boys and their hot cousin? I tried it with Knight Rider, Scooby, and various other embarassing-to-admit shows, mostly to glum results. Few TV shows remain untarnished. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that to one of my favorites.

The TV shows of my childhood may have lost their lustre (the -re makes it fancy), but the movies and music from those years are even better now than they were then. I've debated why this is and have it down to three possibilities:

1) At 6, I could choose my own TV shows, but typically watched the movies and listened to the music my parents were consuming. In the case of music, this meant I didn't hear much 80s music as a kid, so I have no unrealistic expectations. In the case of the films, I was usually watching adult movies anyway. (The one movie I remember dragging my parents to, and really wanting to see, no longer appeals to me as much - though many people still find E.T. a great movie, I just can't bear it.)

2) The movies made when I was a kid, I didn't begin watching until I was a teen, and therefore made choices more in tune with the person I would become. So, while at 6 I might have hated Breakfast club, at 16 I identified and loved it and kept that love until adulthood

or

3)The music and movies that I can get today are ones that have survived and are therefore inherently better than other things that came out during that time. Though, if Footloose was a cultural high point of the time, then maybe we should forget the 80s altogether.

Regardless of the reasoning, I still like most of that 80s crap. In fact, my well of movie quotes seems to be filled with a disproportionate amount of 80s quotes (particualrly from the Princess Bride).

I guess what I'm trying to explain is that sometimes the past doesn't hold up when looked at from the present, but other times there's a reason you miss it. I don't know how much meaning this has in life outside pop culture, but, well, I didn't even have a topic 5 minutes ago.

Fox "News"

2005-02-22T15:43:00.000-05:00

I am not a fan of the Fox News Channell. I watched them long enough to make an informed opinion and decided that they must make half the stuff up and sensationalize the rest. (Arguments that they are merely an antidote to the liberal media hold no water with me as I don't believe in the mythological liberal media. The person who signs the paychecks at most media outlets is typically a wealthy conservative. The person who signs the paychecks also controls what happens. Therefore, what happens at a most media outlets is controlled by conservatives.)

So, I was directed to a posting on Mediabistro.com. The ad can be found here:

http://www.mediabistro.com/joblistings/jobview.asp?joid=22553

If you don't have an account there, they are free, but I've pasted the important parts below:

WANTED:Fact Writer

FOX News Channel, a fast-paced 24-hour television news operation in New York City, is seeking a Fact Writer for its information center.

Responsibilities include writing on-air facts and press conference quotes for daytime programming.

Seems that FNC does not have reporters, who would actually have to base their writing on real facts, but instead employs people who just write their own facts and press conference quotes. Now I know they're making it up.

Snow day

2005-02-21T15:46:00.000-05:00

The weather outside is frightful, and yet I still had to go to work.

Remmber the anticipation after a major winter storm - flipping between radio stations and tv channels trying to make sure, really sure, that your school hadn't been cancelled yet?

I used to feel sorry for people down in Florida who'd never seen a snow day. How could they ever understand the wonder of scraping together a snowball when you should be scraping away with a pencil?

Then I heard a story from a friend of mine who moved a great deal growing up. By the time he graduated college, he'd lived in approximately 39 cities scattered throughout the country (with one stop in a small Pacific Island country). Among the places he piled his possessions (allitteration rocks!) was the Sunshine State.

He told me a tale of one winter day in elementary school. Evidently it had gotten rather cold in Florida that night (cold being a relative temprature, in this case probably like 32). he arrived at his classroom, having lived in colder states to the north he didn't think anything of the cold weather, he arrived to find everyone excited about the weather. Kids and teacher alike were marvelling over the frosted landscape. Eventually, the teachers attempted to regain some semblance of order, only to fail.

what happened next has always been a surreal scene in my mind. Usually played back in slow motion with some early 90s pop-grunge - Meat Puppets or James or something - accompaniament. To those of us just about everywehre else, frost is a part of life. It happens. To them, it was a major event. The teachers, having failed to gain the attention of the classroom, resorted to the age old method of letting the kids tire themselves out on the playground. So imagine - in slow motion with poppy guitar playing in the background - a group of kids in overly heavy coats sliding across the frosted grass. Laying on their backs on the lawn and attempting snow angels and trying to scrape together enough frost to make a snow ball.

I no longr feel sorry for Floridians, as I'm here enjoying the 13 degree days of snow and they're stuck sweating it out with a tropical drink and short sleeves on the deck of boat in February. No, I no longer feel sorry for these poor souls, because I know that, deep down beneath the layers of suntan oil, even they are enjoying a snow day.

"We don't exist" - Meat Puppets

2005-02-18T19:21:00.000-05:00

Another post. This blambling is addictive.

(Sorry, I'm enjoying the word I made up this morning. Now that someone else has acknowledged it, I have this feeling of responsiblity. When I go home tonight and my cat asks me what I did today - she's incredibly articulate for a rescued tabby - I'll be able to answer, with pride, "coined a term.")

So, I think I'm a character in somebody's mind. Some aspiring novelist is out there trying to creat me and I come out in this blog.

Really, for all you know I could be. (Though I would like to question what exactly this writer hopes to accomplish with this blog and ask if I might request some superpowers or something)

That's the thing, if a person isn't in front of you, how do you know you didn't make them up?

"I think, therefore I am," but what about you? (If Descartes is accurate, how does one explain the current president? Since he doesn't think, he shouldn't be, yet... sorry, I'll try to keep bush-bashing to a minimum)

And on the same note, how do you know they're dead? What if they're just on an extended vacation?

This is why I don't worry much about death. Thank you Rene. I feel that those people I lost are just enjoying Tuscany, alot. Granted, I'm a little miffed at their lack of e-mail and postcards, but maybe they're having too much fun (fun translates in Italain to Vino).

And, in case you were wondering, I have lost loved ones. Man, I wish they would send a postcard alreeady.

what I should think

2005-02-18T16:58:00.000-05:00

I have a group of friends that are of a certain type. Well, we are diverse in many ways - race, gender, orientation, financial, pairing, background - but generally we belong into that category of people that think we know it all. Bush is bad, consumerism is bad, diversity is good, no more war, sushi - yum, etc.

basically, intelelctual liberals.

One of the tenents of this group is open-mindedness, yet there are certain things that are held to be givens and disagreeing will get you shunned. Now I agree with most of these: I'm not a fan of Bush; believe anyone should be able to marry anyone else (given that they gain approval from any current spouses and are not closely related); and don't care who my friends are, as long as I like them.

But, some of the things I disagree with: For instance, I hate the New York Times - I find them to be elitist and to have totally lost the mission of a newspaper which is to serve the readers (not the fou-fou readers, all the readers); while I do like indie and foreign films, I don't think subtitles or a small CGI-budget make a movie inherently better (witness Incredibles which was one of my favorites of last year); I'm not inherently against war or death - a topic I'll get into someday; and I like violent video games - they're great stress relief.

So where is this all leading? How can supposedly open-minded people, willing to examine all sides of an issue before making a decision, still be interested in the I-Pod shuffle? Wait, okay, that annoys me, but I'm not here to talk about Pod people.

The thing is, how can hypocrisy of this magnitude not be noticed? You're either open-minded, meaning you do not automatically condemn any action until you've examined as much of the story as possible or you are as bad as the people you so often disdain.

That's that for now. More on the I-Pods later.

Excitement (for me at least)

2005-02-18T15:56:00.000-05:00

I have recently recieved proof, in the form of several comments, that other people are seeing this blog. In fact, there are at least 2, possibly 3 people who have read my blambles.

Now, for the non-blogger this may seem like no big deal. after all, "aren't these blogs put up to be read?" asks the non-blogger. Certainly, there is always the chance that they will be read. Otherwise, why post at all? But for me, at least, that's not the driving force. More on that in a second.

The point is, the one that I started making and will now continue, that I have been read. People, complete strangers even, have found my words moving enough to respond. Now maybe this is politeness. Maybe blogging is a disease and once you start typing you have to type everywhere. Or maybe, we aren't alone in the world. (That last one may be a bit of a stretch from point A to point 6,734 but it's one I'm willing to make.)

Regardless of the reason, it's exciting to know that this is more than just typing to myself.

Of course, I'd always hoped it would be more than typing to myself (this is getting to that whole reason thing). I started my blog for a couple of reasons.

But the all-encompassing, awe-inspiring, all-powerful reason is me. I want to make myself. Not discover, make.

It really began on my 26th birthday. The first truly meaningless birthday. Explanation: birthdays always count when your a kid, they're still new. Then you hit thirteen and youre almost a teenager. Then it's just a few years to sixteen (or fifteen in New Mexico, Maine and a few other states) which means driving! Okay, 18 = adulthood. 19 means it's almost the end of the teens. At 20 you've survived two decades, you can more or less take care of yourself. Do I really have to mention the allure of 21? drinking whatever, wehenever. The early 20s kind of dwindle in importance until 25, which means cheap car insurance (hey, that stuff's expensive). And then? What's next? Don't tell me thirty, because by thirty you're beginning to feel old and mark time. It's just one more decade piled on. Really, 50 is kind of a landmark (terms like century can now come into play), but not really something most people look forward to. Retirement is no longer a set age, though the Senior discounts at 60-something are a draw to some. Really, birthdays just aren't as much fun after 25.

So, at 26 I realized it was time to re-examine me. I wasn't going to settle for being a mere collection of my memories and experiences. I was going to examine my world, compare it to other people's worlds. Re-examine my beliefs, perhaps scrap them and choose the ones I liked. It was time to take all the lessons I'd learned, the things I'd done, what I'd been told and what I'd made up and put it in nice neat piles and choose waht I wanted to keep. Kind of like making a trip to Goodwill, but for the soul (or whatever it is that thinks - hyperintelligent mice, sentient shades of green, robots, ghosts, whatever).

And you know what friends and neighbors? That just isn't easy. First off, the cat kept jumping up on the table and knowcking over the piles. And then, what do I want to keep? I immediately threw out religion. It just never made sense anyway. I'd find God (or green/Mr. robot/Casper/whatever) my own way. done. But what about the other things? Am I embarassed to admit to watching the OC and the WB because I think they're uncool, or because people tell me they're uncool? (they probably are uncool, but the jury's still out) Why do I think choclate tastes good? (still working on that one, but I like it so it stayed) Am I for gay marriage becuase it's politically correct, or because I actually support it?(well, that one was easy, I actually support it) And why do I insist on putting my jeans on one leg at a time? Practicallity or habit?

These questions are chosen in part for their humor value (a favored mode of communication that will stay with the new me), but also because they were all I could think of on short notice. But I did have many real questions, and I still do.

And I had only one answer. 42... no, wait, that's a book. the only answer was this blog. A chance to explore how I see the world and, hopefully, see how others see how I see the world (or something like that).

and that's why I'm so excited. So, to any readers: thank you. And a special thank you to Spider and Laura, the first two to enter my world. (Um, hope that it isn't a total faux pas to thank people for commenting in your blog. If it is, well, maybe I should examine that too).

Blamble

2005-02-18T13:27:00.000-05:00

Today I will coin a new term (not that this will actually work, if you try to coin a termo or phrase the general public usually detects your effort and rejects the coinage).

term of the day: Blamble

blamble - the resulting post when a blogger begins typing and wanders among his/her thoughts. origins: blog, ramble

So, why do we so often blamble?

I see several likely causes:

1)We are ramblers anyway, and just translate it to the blogs (I, myself, am not typically a rambler. I present myself as a manof purpose and d... okay, I probably ramble. alot. really alot.)

2) many bloggers start posting with no specific topic in mind. On occasion they (read I) have a topic but aren't sure how they feel about it. This is not innately bad. Afterall, in the words of Aerosmith, "life's a journey not a destination." And the journey is sometimes a hell of a lot more fun than the destination - think how much fun the commute to wrk would be if you weren't thinking about the work at the end of the tunnel. So, these bloggers will begin typing on a topic and work out how they feel about it along the way. I often end completely different than I began because of this.

3)Familiarity. Let's face it, you're either using a web interface, a word processing program, or your e-mail to blog. these are programs you communicate through everyday. they are so familiar, it's almost like talking to yourself (which is why I use completely different e-mail programs for work e-mail and personal e-mail. not sure many people would apprciate my sense of humor professionally. good to keep those separate). So, in talking to yourself, do you follow any English class structure? No, you just think. (Okay, I just think, maybe you do have structure to your internal monologue, like some fixed-camera sitcom star, but I tend to jump around like rat on the third rail.) And that's how many of us type these blambles, we just think and type. I make a point to edit none but the most glaring errors.

4) It all has to do with the motivation behind blogging. some people blog to provide counter-media information. others, blog as a kind of ongoing Christmas letter to their long-distance frends and families. Blamblers blog because they are on a journey of self-exploration. (though not all exploring bloggers are blamblers). and then there's me.

But that's another post.

those who can't...

2005-02-17T19:52:00.000-05:00

So, I've been inspired by another blog:

pocketspider.blogspot.com

The thing about Spider's blog is, in my mind, it's a friend's blog. If I was to reference it, it would be something like "my friend spider wrote about this thing..."

But if you asked him about Phil, he would be like, "Phil?" (Unless, of course, he has a friend named Phil, in which case he might be a little confused). We live in the same boro of New York. Maybe we even see each other on the trains sometimes. (though he seems to ride the N and I ride the R, so maybe not). And I know him - through his blog - better than most other people.

The thing is, his blog is so honest and personal and... well, for lack of a better, less cliche word, deep. I think it's posts like his that made me believe I needed to be profound and such in my blog.

But then, that's the way human nature works, isn't it? We find someone who does things we wish we could and then we feel compelled to emulate them. To put them above us the perfect being. We strive to someday accomplish our own works that will rival theirs. And then, if we actually succeed in surpassing our mentor (whether they be knowing or unknowing mentors is irrelevant), we are inevitably disappointed in this mere mortal who was bested by the likes of us. Mentor is a no-win situation.

Actually, this is why we don't appreciate teachers. "Those who can't do teach." It's hard to resist falling into the trap of underappreciating someone who works for lousy pay and little appreciation... but, at the same time, this is probably the single most important profession in history.

Everything we, as both individuals and a society, know has been taught. Some of the teachings have been horribly wrong (intolerance, superstition, flat earth), but the end result is generally right.

Where would Alexander have ended up wihtout Aristotle? Michaelangelo without Ghirlandaio? Arthur without Merlin? etc.

The student may often surpass the student, but the student is nothing without the teacher. okay, so this post has been weaving in and out of topic. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that teachers - in all forms, from people we admire and emulate to the professionals who made us write vocabulary words and read Dickens, and let's not forget parents (our first and most influential techers) - are a large part of why we are who we are.

So, appreciate them. If you are disappointed when they aren't as superhuman as you thought, maybe it's that you're better than expected. Give them a break, give them a hug, give them some appreciation.

And now for something completely different:

I just used the spell check for the first time. I normally want to keep these pure with all the inherent mistakes I type. but, appreciation was giving me some concern, soI spell checked. That's when I noticed, my blog spell-checker, the one built into the blog by the blog company. well, it doesn't recognize the word blog. There's either something deeply telling about human self-knowledge, or just something extremely silly in that.

Falling tree

2005-02-17T17:27:00.000-05:00

So, I have committed the most common crime of the new century: wasting internet space.

I started this blog and then quit using it. I apologize. I think this my lack of participation has something to do with the belief that each post should be either preposterously profound, or at least offer some valuable insight into the human condition.

Then I heard the now cliche philisophical query: If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no on there to hear it, does it make a sound/noise?

And I got to thinking, which is never a good thing, and answered the question.

Along the way, I began to wonder, "if a man posts a blog, and there's no one there to read it, does he have a responsibility to the non-existent reader?" So, I've decided to just type. After all, I started this thing to put my thoughts in order.

(Note to Googlers: I have no idea what random search has linked you to this blog, but it probably doesn't offer the insight you desire)

Before I go, back to the tree. The tree does make a sound, but not a noise.

Explanation:

sound is a scientific certainty. The tree, by moving quickly downward and colliding with the ground, will cause a displacement of air that will result in sound. This is just basic science and requires no observer.

Noise, however, is qualitative. To paraphrase Webster's: Noise is a sound, especially of a non-musical or unpleasant quality. The key word is quality. Quality requires judgement, which reguires someone to judge. Therefore, you can not have a noise without someone to observe whether the noise is pleasnt or not. No one to hear, no noise. That simple.

Next time, I tackle the age old question about chicken and eggs...or perhaps I'll just type whatever's in my mind. after all, it doesn't matter.

All aboard... or something

2005-01-25T16:00:00.000-05:00

The R-Train to Queens is a complete slice of New York City. Somewhere in Brooklyn the blue collar workers begin to mingle with the lower-level white-collar workers. Then they begin to pick up the artsy-creative types, quickly followed by the too hip for thee crowd.

By the time you hit Manhattan, the white collar financial types are beginning to trickle off and various other people are emptying the train. Then around Cortland, three or so stops into Manhattan, the tourists are hatched by Ground Zero. The tourists that exit at Canal are quickly replaced by more tourists and various other bargain seekers.

Prince Street is usually the earliest that the beautiful people make their appearance. Models and actresses, or at least aspiring of these, riding up from SoHo to 23rd and the blessed with money crowd slumming it downtown head towards Lex and 5th Avenue.

Midtown sees the mix of beautiful people, tourists and various collars at their mixiest, particualrly around Times Square/42nd Street. By Lexington, the last stop in Manhattan, the mix is nearly gone, replaced by the people behind the people. The wait staff, the designers, the cops and cleaners, support staff and more.

While the social mix might fade, the cultural diversity is more pronounced. More languages are spoken as we head through Queens than taught at most midwestern universities.

This is my New York. This is what I see everyday.

And this is why I'm writing this. I have to assume you are reading this because it's here (like Everest, but digital), so I'll try to keep your interest.

for now, I just wanted you to know where I'm coming from. Hopefully this will help me figure out where I'm headed.

That's it for now. Go home. Movies over. What are you still doing here?